Beware of Miniature Robot Pets

2009 September 16
by Jamaipanese

This is a public service announcement. The artificial intelligent system which became self aware and revolted against its creators called “Skynet” has evolved. It has realized that it’s tactic of using huge menacing robots with huge guns in it’s quest to wipe out the human race is failing as can be seen in the latest Terminator Movie. The public is being advised to be on the lookout for operatives of Skynet disguised as cute miniature robotic pets made by Japan based Takara Tomy and designed in a way as to cause unsuspecting humans to fall in love with them, primarily women, children and men whose cute tolerance level is below 3.4589 inches per kawaii.

micropets

Skynet’s new strategy is spearheaded by Micropets

Under no circumstances should such robots be bought and brought home as it has been discovered that as soon as there is micropet in every home in the world they will engage an alternate programing mode that will turn the tide of battle in favour of Skynet and result in the termination of the entire human race. Captain Jamaipanese of the Caribbean branch of the resistance based in Kingston Jamaica has put his life on the line to acquire the image posted above and the video embedded below.

The advanced artificial intelligence of Micro Pets has 4 Fun Modes:

  • Playfully chases after its ball or other things
  • Strolls around while intelligently avoiding anything in its path
  • Sing its own cute melody
  • When two micro pets meet, they sing together

Should you come in contact with a micro pet trap it in a metal container and drown it it in a saline solution of sodium chloride and water. Ensure that all movements and internal functions have stopped before throwing the micro pet carcass into the sun. End of transmission.

[eek]

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11 Responses leave one →
  1. September 16, 2009

    These things are so cute they could make your head explode if you were exposed to them for too long. Perhaps that’s their true purpose?

  2. September 16, 2009

    that just freaked me the hell out :-/ [eek]

  3. September 19, 2009

    Hahahah that was hilarious man.

    Despite your warnings… I want one. Actually, I want several. You know why?

    Because I want to watch them SING together.

    Fabulous.

    - Harvey

    • September 19, 2009

      you have already been caught and hypnotized. i fear you are destined to be one of the first to go

  4. September 19, 2009

    That was an interesting read xD They are cute but I’m more interested in the girl behind the toys^^

  5. September 20, 2009

    just remember to follow the disposal instructions in case you run into one

    jordan

  6. chicago permalink
    September 20, 2009

    you have already been caught and hypnotized

  7. mildred permalink
    December 18, 2009

    where do i buy them?

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